I have been struggling since I got here (well, I suppose since before I got here) with the fact that I am existing in a place so near a fairy-land, a place where food is abundant and shared, work is a place for fun and learning, learning applies to all aspects of self and not textbooks alone – basically that I have everything going for me, I’m in the land and the time of opportunity, and what the heck am I doing for the rest of the world? If there’s so much abundance here, why aren’t I sharing it with someone who needs it more? The practicality of this idea is a little unattainable, since everything here is more or less shared, but I did choose to come to a place where that was the case.
I have this idea that if I’m not contributing to the world, specifically the physically impoverished world, I am not living the life I know I can and want to live. However, I don’t know what exactly I can contribute to that “impoverished world”, aside from flinging money at it, which is part of the reason I’m here. And that sounds like a good answer to my question, but... things - well, emotions and convictions - still come up.
I was talking today to a young man I admire for his courage in pursuing his dream and talent of writing while he lives and works at Findhorn. I have always gotten a deep satisfaction and a thrill out of hearing about and encouraging people’s dreams, so I asked about his writing. He told it me that it was “like heaven here” (at Findhorn), that he was excited to explore other forms of writing while here, etc. etc, and at first I was so excited – I find it easier to get excited for others than I do for myself because I don’t need to exercise caution when I can see that someone would benefit from a little heartfelt encouragement, so the temperature in our conversation rose as we talked about literature, forms of sharing stories and poetry, all of which I’m passionate about, and on the wave of our excitement he expressed how perfectly his days fit in with his dreams – he was merely expressing how happy and fulfilled he felt, but I felt a figurative grey veil fall slowly over me, my face sank and my heart twisted and grew angry as I thought of all the human beings who will never even have the opportunity to witness, let alone experience, the joy that he was feeling.
And yet here I am, spending thousands of dollars on finding that kind of joy and prosperity – my only solace is that I know I need a set of skills in order to effectively bring prosperity to any part of the planet, and I am here to develop those skills with a heavy emphasis on compassion.
Help. How can I help? How can I be most effective in the world? I want to bring both life and quality of life to those around me – something to the effect of teaching a man to fish instead of handing him a fish… I don’t want to just teach rich people how to be happy, and I don’t just want to give food to poor people… and the frustrating thing is finding these things for myself so I can understand how to share them – a lifelong process, I know… but where do I start? I mean really start?
I guess that’s why I came here – and thank you for supporting me, I promise your love and resources will not be wasted.
Any thoughts…?
Monday, September 8, 2008
Saturday, September 6, 2008
September 6 - Fabulous Field Trip
Today, avoiding academics for a precious few more hours, we hiked to the windmills (which are conveniently on the way to the beach).
These beautiful behemoths provide the energy for over 350 humans in our community, and often catch the shadows of the fighter jets and submarine detectors zooming noisily overhead... we share the area with the Royal Air Force, which provides a thought-provoking foil for this peace-loving community. The people behind both endeavors have always had a respectful, even kind relationship to one another, despite the conflict in interests...
Dragonfly (one of my housemates) at the base of one of the four windmills, all of which bear a colorful mural that reaches about 10 feet high.
The beach... shortly after thus picture was taken, all the bodies you see were deep in the Scottish sea, battling waves and hypothermia until the pleasant numb point was reached somewhere beyond the breakers... I told them if they thought this was cold they should try the Pacific :) I would have taken pictures but my body was one of the pleasantly numb ones.
Following our dip in the ocean, we saltily put together a beach creation out of spontaneity and appreciation for the materials and beauty around us... this is only the top, but it was one of my favorite pictures. One of these days we'll get around to some serious studying, but for now... thank God for playful spirits and a playground as breathtaking as this one.
Thursday, September 4, 2008
September 2 - Findhorn Fun
Another full day at the Findhorn Foundation… the day started with a trip to “Rudolph’s Leap”, a large wooded area divided by the Findhorn (“White Goddess” or “Unicorn”) River, which is intersected by the Divvie (“Black One”) River. We spent an hour and a half wandering alone. Our leaders trusted that we would all be back at our meeting point on time even though only two of us had watches, (which tells you a bit about how this program is run,) and every one of us was back on time (which tells you a bit about the kind of people I’ve been hanging out with… if you figure exactly what it tells you, let me know.) Rudolph’s Leap is one of the most stunningly gorgeous and alive places I’ve visited (despite the cheesy name). I got to a point where I was almost giddy just watching a few spiders spin their webs, because every where you turned you were faced with undeniable beauty and diversity.
After a silent bus ride back to the community and a hearty lunch, I spent 2 hours shucking Broad Beans (half of which were sticky and rotten) at a table with a charismatic Irishman named Steve, my two fellow American workers, and a curiously straightforward Australian woman named Nikki, while a cheery German lady with too much blue eyeshadow (Sylvia) oversaw the kitchen and sang Coldplay in the background.
Side note: it turns out listening to the American band Steely Dan was how Steve learned to speak with an English accent. Judging by the results, I do not recommend this as a method.
In the evening we had a community leader take questions and speak to the group in a very informal setting about the structure of the Findhorn Foundation – how it was started, the decision making process, the local form of currency, schooling for children and young adults, etc. It was a refreshingly dry conversation. I didn’t once feel the need to consider my philosophy on life.
If anyone has questions about the structure/”government” of the community, how it’s run, money making, etc., please drop me a comment or an email – And if I don’t know the answer I’ll find out. I was very pleased that this was one of the first topics we discussed.
The week is going swimmingly. I’m being constantly challenged and finding out useful stuff about myself and others (as well as having a rockin’ good time on a regular basis) – and we haven’t even started academics yet. Yes, they were merciful enough to not hit us over the head with Jung vs. Freud or Applied Sustainability right when we walked through the doors… er, archway.
Much to come… much love to all.
After a silent bus ride back to the community and a hearty lunch, I spent 2 hours shucking Broad Beans (half of which were sticky and rotten) at a table with a charismatic Irishman named Steve, my two fellow American workers, and a curiously straightforward Australian woman named Nikki, while a cheery German lady with too much blue eyeshadow (Sylvia) oversaw the kitchen and sang Coldplay in the background.
Side note: it turns out listening to the American band Steely Dan was how Steve learned to speak with an English accent. Judging by the results, I do not recommend this as a method.
In the evening we had a community leader take questions and speak to the group in a very informal setting about the structure of the Findhorn Foundation – how it was started, the decision making process, the local form of currency, schooling for children and young adults, etc. It was a refreshingly dry conversation. I didn’t once feel the need to consider my philosophy on life.
If anyone has questions about the structure/”government” of the community, how it’s run, money making, etc., please drop me a comment or an email – And if I don’t know the answer I’ll find out. I was very pleased that this was one of the first topics we discussed.
The week is going swimmingly. I’m being constantly challenged and finding out useful stuff about myself and others (as well as having a rockin’ good time on a regular basis) – and we haven’t even started academics yet. Yes, they were merciful enough to not hit us over the head with Jung vs. Freud or Applied Sustainability right when we walked through the doors… er, archway.
Much to come… much love to all.
September 1
I'll start dating my entries - our internet is on and off, so many entries may be late.
Today we had our first taste of work in the community. I chose to work in the kitchens at Findhorn for this week, along with a couple of other lady students. Upon entry to the kitchen we were greeted by two salty old kitchen chaps (well, they weren’t that old, but they were certainly wise) who gave us a tea break before we even started (to get to know one another), and gave us another 20 min. tea break an hour and a half later… this isn’t just a Findhorn thing, this is British thing… the entire community breaks for tea at least once or twice in the middle of whatever they happen to be doing. It does interrupt any momentum I might have had while working, but it’s never too hard to get back into the swing of things – and at least at the end of the day I’m not so burned out and wound up that I don’t know how to rest –As my friend Emily put it when they told us to break: “but I don’t know how to stop…” and she wasn’t joking. She is quite an intelligent person, but I had to tell her kindly to come wash her hands with me, she looked so much like a deer in headlights.
I hope to bring tea breaks back to the States (at least to my little corner). What a healthy habit – and not as ambitious as trying to bring siestas to the States (although I’ll never stop hoping for that one…)
Keep sending good thoughts and prayers, they’re much appreciated!!
Much love from Elizabeth in Scotland.
Today we had our first taste of work in the community. I chose to work in the kitchens at Findhorn for this week, along with a couple of other lady students. Upon entry to the kitchen we were greeted by two salty old kitchen chaps (well, they weren’t that old, but they were certainly wise) who gave us a tea break before we even started (to get to know one another), and gave us another 20 min. tea break an hour and a half later… this isn’t just a Findhorn thing, this is British thing… the entire community breaks for tea at least once or twice in the middle of whatever they happen to be doing. It does interrupt any momentum I might have had while working, but it’s never too hard to get back into the swing of things – and at least at the end of the day I’m not so burned out and wound up that I don’t know how to rest –As my friend Emily put it when they told us to break: “but I don’t know how to stop…” and she wasn’t joking. She is quite an intelligent person, but I had to tell her kindly to come wash her hands with me, she looked so much like a deer in headlights.
I hope to bring tea breaks back to the States (at least to my little corner). What a healthy habit – and not as ambitious as trying to bring siestas to the States (although I’ll never stop hoping for that one…)
Keep sending good thoughts and prayers, they’re much appreciated!!
Much love from Elizabeth in Scotland.
Saturday, August 30, 2008
The Findhorn Foundation
My first day at the Findhorn Foundation... it's going to be a wild ride.
My fellow young folk here for the program are enthusiastic and open-minded, and all big-hearted. There's one guy here who's spent most of his life playing football, took a one-week trip to Iceland and Findhorn with a college class and decided to rework his plans for the future. There's a young lady who, on a long walk on the beach, explained to me how the goth and hippie cultures are very similar (she has been into the goth "scene" for quite a awhile now, which I naturally wanted to hear more about)- her take was essentially that goths and hippies are fed up with how society works, and hippies just have a more... optimistic way of dealing with it. I suppose she's just decided to be more optimistic, although she was talking about shaving her head - can that be classified as optimistic or "un"?
I truly want to write from my heart tonight, but I fear that my body is arguing (quite persuasively) that a shower and bed would be a better option...
Before I sign off, I'd like to say that it is impressive how "normal" our living situation is. We do not, unfortunately, live in yurts - sorry, Teri... We live in actual houses, with plumbing and everything - except the sewage here is drained to a natural compost site somewhere far away from the town center. We (mercifully) weren't given that part of the tour.
A quick introduction to my home for the next 3 months, shared with three other students:
This is our bungalow, called "Diane's". Many of the living places were named after the person who built or designed them. I live here happily (so far) with Emily, Jake, and Jen, who has asked us to call her Dragonfly from here on out. More name-changing is to be expected.
This is Emily standing in our cozy little kitchen, which is equipped with all manner of baking utensils and the bare essentials for breakfasts - we can get more food whenever we desire for free from the community pantry. Had a fantastic apple today. I gotta say, when you know you really want an apple and there's a free one sitting just a few bungalows away, juicily waiting for you... there's almost nothing better.
My bed. We were one of the few houses in which everyone got their own room, and somehow each of us got the room we most wanted. This is the very back corner, quiet, (and the bed is as big as it looks) with a window that opens to some very nice foliage. We were supplied with foliage in the house as well, and upon entry Dragonfly said excitedly, "oh look, we get plants to care for!" I earnestly hope that someday I get that excited about watering greenery.
The view from our front door.
Me, happily ensconced in my two fluffy pillows. Paradise at the end of a long day.
My fellow young folk here for the program are enthusiastic and open-minded, and all big-hearted. There's one guy here who's spent most of his life playing football, took a one-week trip to Iceland and Findhorn with a college class and decided to rework his plans for the future. There's a young lady who, on a long walk on the beach, explained to me how the goth and hippie cultures are very similar (she has been into the goth "scene" for quite a awhile now, which I naturally wanted to hear more about)- her take was essentially that goths and hippies are fed up with how society works, and hippies just have a more... optimistic way of dealing with it. I suppose she's just decided to be more optimistic, although she was talking about shaving her head - can that be classified as optimistic or "un"?
I truly want to write from my heart tonight, but I fear that my body is arguing (quite persuasively) that a shower and bed would be a better option...
Before I sign off, I'd like to say that it is impressive how "normal" our living situation is. We do not, unfortunately, live in yurts - sorry, Teri... We live in actual houses, with plumbing and everything - except the sewage here is drained to a natural compost site somewhere far away from the town center. We (mercifully) weren't given that part of the tour.
A quick introduction to my home for the next 3 months, shared with three other students:
This is our bungalow, called "Diane's". Many of the living places were named after the person who built or designed them. I live here happily (so far) with Emily, Jake, and Jen, who has asked us to call her Dragonfly from here on out. More name-changing is to be expected.
This is Emily standing in our cozy little kitchen, which is equipped with all manner of baking utensils and the bare essentials for breakfasts - we can get more food whenever we desire for free from the community pantry. Had a fantastic apple today. I gotta say, when you know you really want an apple and there's a free one sitting just a few bungalows away, juicily waiting for you... there's almost nothing better.
My bed. We were one of the few houses in which everyone got their own room, and somehow each of us got the room we most wanted. This is the very back corner, quiet, (and the bed is as big as it looks) with a window that opens to some very nice foliage. We were supplied with foliage in the house as well, and upon entry Dragonfly said excitedly, "oh look, we get plants to care for!" I earnestly hope that someday I get that excited about watering greenery.
The view from our front door.
Me, happily ensconced in my two fluffy pillows. Paradise at the end of a long day.
Friday, August 29, 2008
Success...
I've arrived, and in one piece, no less!
I am utterly exhausted, but wanted to note a few particularly good encounters on my voyage overseas:
I met a girl named Daisy on one of the trains - she was about my age, with a one-year old boy named Cadence and a father who happens to work in Findhorn (I think she said he works with dolphins, but I may have misunderstood her... dolphins in Scotland... hmmm). Her Father has a German girlfriend named Eureka with whom he just recently had a child. I laughed and said "so your son will have an uncle who's younger than he?" She shrugged this oddity off merrily, saying "nothin's really conventional anymore, is it though?" This from a woman who's lived in the same small town in Scotland her entire life. She was thoroughly charming, with a pace of speaking that rivals the most talented gossips I've known - I felt like I had to rework my brain to keep up with her lilting and laughing and singsong 'this-and-that's.
Before Daisy I had the privilege to meet an older wanderer named Jim on the plane - he said nothing about family, but was flying solo, looking for a new home all over the states. We had a marvelous time chatting about different regions of the country and watching old horror flicks on his laptop with his dual headset connector. The horror films were nothing to scream about (pun intended), but I came away with a new friend's email address and a sense of hope for humanity - even for those unconventional types.
I also met a financial advisor who wanted to make me his next project - "you could pay off your debt in no time!" he promised... but I managed to steer him away from finance and ended up meeting his whole family, 8 members total, who were taking their yearly vacation to London (no comment necessary)...
I'd say just the trip over was worth all the work. Can't wait to find out what's in store for me next...
I am utterly exhausted, but wanted to note a few particularly good encounters on my voyage overseas:
I met a girl named Daisy on one of the trains - she was about my age, with a one-year old boy named Cadence and a father who happens to work in Findhorn (I think she said he works with dolphins, but I may have misunderstood her... dolphins in Scotland... hmmm). Her Father has a German girlfriend named Eureka with whom he just recently had a child. I laughed and said "so your son will have an uncle who's younger than he?" She shrugged this oddity off merrily, saying "nothin's really conventional anymore, is it though?" This from a woman who's lived in the same small town in Scotland her entire life. She was thoroughly charming, with a pace of speaking that rivals the most talented gossips I've known - I felt like I had to rework my brain to keep up with her lilting and laughing and singsong 'this-and-that's.
Before Daisy I had the privilege to meet an older wanderer named Jim on the plane - he said nothing about family, but was flying solo, looking for a new home all over the states. We had a marvelous time chatting about different regions of the country and watching old horror flicks on his laptop with his dual headset connector. The horror films were nothing to scream about (pun intended), but I came away with a new friend's email address and a sense of hope for humanity - even for those unconventional types.
I also met a financial advisor who wanted to make me his next project - "you could pay off your debt in no time!" he promised... but I managed to steer him away from finance and ended up meeting his whole family, 8 members total, who were taking their yearly vacation to London (no comment necessary)...
I'd say just the trip over was worth all the work. Can't wait to find out what's in store for me next...
Sunday, August 17, 2008
An Introduction
Hello and welcome!
This will be my public blog regarding my adventures in Scotland for the next few months. If you'd like to take a look at the program I'll be part of, you can go to www.livingroutes.org and click on "Scotland".
This blog will be a place where I can post my thoughts and feelings about what I encounter overseas, but I'm hoping it will also be a place where those outside of the program can respond, ask questions, or challenge what I write. For one reason or another, I may not be able to respond to comments (or you may not feel the need to leave one), but as this program will be an intense one, I'd like to hear the perspective of people who are not involved with Living Routes. Regular encouragement will also be welcome :)
As isolating as technology can be, I'm grateful that through the internet we can celebrate together, think together, and continue sharing our lives from thousands of miles away. Feel free to let me know about any changes in your life, victorious or otherwise, or just drop in every once in a while for a quick glance. My email is:
lizardqueen_meow@yahoo.com
- although I may not have time to write detailed responses, any glimpse into your life or other correspondence will be greatly appreciated.
My mailing address (as of September 1) will be:
Elizabeth Daniels FCS
Findhorn Foundation, The Park
Forres, Scotland IV36 3TZ
U.K.
woohoo! Goin to the U.K.!
All my love,
Elizabeth
This will be my public blog regarding my adventures in Scotland for the next few months. If you'd like to take a look at the program I'll be part of, you can go to www.livingroutes.org and click on "Scotland".
This blog will be a place where I can post my thoughts and feelings about what I encounter overseas, but I'm hoping it will also be a place where those outside of the program can respond, ask questions, or challenge what I write. For one reason or another, I may not be able to respond to comments (or you may not feel the need to leave one), but as this program will be an intense one, I'd like to hear the perspective of people who are not involved with Living Routes. Regular encouragement will also be welcome :)
As isolating as technology can be, I'm grateful that through the internet we can celebrate together, think together, and continue sharing our lives from thousands of miles away. Feel free to let me know about any changes in your life, victorious or otherwise, or just drop in every once in a while for a quick glance. My email is:
lizardqueen_meow@yahoo.com
- although I may not have time to write detailed responses, any glimpse into your life or other correspondence will be greatly appreciated.
My mailing address (as of September 1) will be:
Elizabeth Daniels FCS
Findhorn Foundation, The Park
Forres, Scotland IV36 3TZ
U.K.
woohoo! Goin to the U.K.!
All my love,
Elizabeth
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